Move Over Freud

I realize I haven't posted as religiously as I used to, and I'm also realizing that I'm entering a whole new chapter of this thing they call parenting. For a few years there, I really thought parenting was exhausting, the lifting of chubby babies in and out of car seats, high chairs, and grocery carts, the running across the room to perform the Heimlich maneuver because your toddler just swallowed a nickel, and the never ending cleaning up of diapers, spit up, and spilled everything.

Well, a few years have passed, and I'm now realizing that parenting is still indeed exhausting but now in a different way. Before so much of what I did with my 4 girls was physical, but now we're entering into new territory, and I feel as if I must put on counselor's cap. As the girls grow, I'm starting to really get glimpses of who they are as people, and here are a few things I'm realizing.

1. Though genetically linked, our children are not miniature versions of ourselves or our
husbands. Chances are they have some striking similarities, but sharing in the same gene pool does not make them entirely like you. Example: For me to have a daughter that does not like school is almost unfathomable. I soooo loved school, so much so I became a teacher. One of the things I'm learning is that just because I like something doesn't guarantee my kids will. I know this seems like common sense, but I think if we're honest with ourselves we expect our kids to be just like us in a lot of ways, and then when they aren't we're almost disappointed. We need to accept it, and adapt.

2. Secondly, I am just now truly coming to grips with the fact that my children are flawed. Let's face it when my babies were babies, I was pretty much secretly satisfied with the fact that they were superior to all other babies in every way. Obviously this is ridiculous, and maybe it was the post-pregnancy hormones that were blurring my sense of reality, but I was content in my own children's perfection. However, as they get older, they each are showing that not only do they have amazing individual strengths and unique preferences, but they also each have their own set of struggles (aka sin issues). I think as parents this is really hard for us to truly admit to ourselves. If we see something unbecoming in our children like laziness or a mean streak or a selfishness, we are very reluctant to acknowledge to ourselves, to our spouses, and definitely to other people. However, I think the very best thing we can do is look at it honestly for what it is, so that you can (in love) help your child to deal with that issue early on.

3. Lastly, I'm learning that parenting is still exhausting, but in a different way. It requires a tremendous amount of thought, discipline, grace, love, time, and prayer. Mainly prayer, and if you think I'm preaching to you, I'm not, I'm preaching to myself. I'm admittedly a typical teacher, which means I'm controlling, bossy, and I like things run a certain way. No matter what I say or what I do, ultimately I cannot control the people my children become. Only God can orchestrate the direction of their lives, only God can move their hearts, and convict their souls. I can do everything right or I can do everything wrong (more likely) but my input only takes them so far, which is why we have to continually put them in God's hands.

Shwew.... now that I got that off my chest, I feel better. Oh and my kids haven't turned rotten lately in case you're wondering, they're still nearly perfect in my eyes, it's just every once in a while they remind me of me, and I get a little terrified.