Bedtime Brute

I know, I know no parent is perfect, we all have have our flaws, but what I'm about to confess to you all puts me up there with pageant moms. I hate bedtime. In every family movie that's ever been filmed, there's a token shot of two serene and smiling actors sitting at the foot of their child's bed reading them a bedtime story. The child usually slowly closes their eyes, and the mom and dad look at each other and nod at one another knowingly. The bedroom is tidy and well decorated, both parents are wearing robes over their color-coordinated pajamas, and basically everyone is happy.

When I first had Lorelei, my beloved first born, I envisioned that our nights would be like those nights. I don't really remember my parents "tucking me in" much, but I was going to be different, I was going to set up a nightly routine, that involved lavender scented bubble baths, reviewing memory verses, reading literary classics, and I'd close it all out with prayer. All of these seemed like good things, fun things, the right things a "good" parent would do.

8 and a half years have passed since that first child of mine came in to the world, and during those 8 and a half years, I've acquired 3 more children, 5 English classes to teach, and a much larger grocery bill. By the time dinner is done, homework is done, the dishes are cleaned, all I can think about is sitting very, very still in front of the warming light of a television set. The thought of reading a book, or tucking someone in sounds like it requires so much energy. I can't fathom it.

Fortunately, my dear, patient, loving husband usually does this job. But he's taken up running. In fact he's running right now, and my kids are shuffling around in the hallway, calling to me,

"Mom, I'm cold," (It was 75 degrees today).

"Mom, I'm thirsty," (Cups of water sat on the table all day long, untouched).

"Mom, the tag on my pajamas is itching me," (not making that up, folks she just said it).

"Mom, can you read me a story..... no can you make up a story for me?" (Um, no, please don't make me).

And so I told them to just go to bed, don't get up, don't go back to start, just go to bed.

And now I'm hiding in my room behind a computer screen, hoping.... praying, that they all do just that.... go to bed.