Don't Worry, Be Happy

Currently I must confess I feel anxiety about a few things:

     

1. Last week it was painful for me to help Lorelei memorize her number flashcards 1 through 10, she can count, but I didn't realize she wasn't visually able to say which # was which.  Finally, by Friday she had it.  I felt relieved and victorious.  Today, she came home with numbers 11 thru 20.  Really?  I mean how important are numbers beyond 10 anyway?

2. Maisy didn't look too good tonight which means she may be getting sick, which translates possible family epidemic by week's end.

3. Morgan learned to say the word No today.  At first it was cute, she was in the cart at Target, saying no, no, no, no, no.... and then suddenly it wasn't that cute anymore.

4. I have to re-read chapters 4-8 of The Scarlett Letter tonight for my class tomorrow.  Truthfully, I didn't like it much the first two times I read it, so should be thrilling this time around.  

5. Close friends and family members of mine are experiencing a variety of struggles right now, the combination of which lays heavy on my heart.  

6. I know that the God's word rings true, that we are to be anxious for nothing!  Truthfully, I actually have anxiety over the fact that I have anxiety because I know that means that I'm not giving all of my cares over to the Lord, that I'm hyper-focusing on earthly things and not the things of Christ! 

7. Also I honestly have anxiety over the fact that the majority of the things in my life I feel stressed about are so small and so petty.  I feel guilty over even being stressed, that guilt leads to anxiety.  Are you sorry you tuned in to my blog today or what?

Okay, so in all seriousness, I'm a little mental because I tend to overthink things.  I have been transitioning into a new routine this fall, and it's been pretty rigorous and hectic, but really I have nothing to complain about! (I mean besides the economy and the dead grass in my yard)

I just felt like venting, now I feel better.  Oh and by the way funny story, I made like 20 people hate my guts last Friday when I went to fill up my gas tank and pulled in on the wrong side, thinking I could pull the lever thing around the back of my van, and then when I couldn't I had already paid and so a guy held my gas pump thing and waited for me to try and turn around and people were so raging angry with me, they were yelling at me, and I almost cried.  Maybe they all just needed to vent to.

Why I Need to take Parenting Classes

Okay, so at the twins' preschool the other day, this lady was trying to recruit people to take a parenting class at their church.  I gave her the old barely polite smile and rolled my eyes in my head, yeah like I need that, like I haven't just dealt with four infants in the last five years practically all at once.   But then incidents like this happened during the week that made me think that maybe I do need a class, or a nanny, or basically any type of professional help.

   

      1. Last Monday, I took Lorelei to ballet, which means I have to kill an hour with the other 3 kids somewhere, so I took them to the nearby outlets.  I promised them a cookie at the cookie store if they were good.  They were good, I went to the cookie store, ordered them their cookies, and then realized the cookie place only takes cash, and no I didn't even have the 3 bucks in my van, thank you.  Seriously devastated my children as we walked away empty handed and I tried to explain the concept of debit cards to them. Broke parent promise to them, great.

      2. I made them afraid of police.  Lately the girls are always gasping and freaking out in the van when they see a police car.  I realize it was because I kept threatening that if they unbuckled their car seat seatbelts the police were going to "get us."  Maybe not the best approach.

      3. On Sunday afternoon, we had guests over for lunch.  They pointed out that while they were there and I was talking their ears off, and not paying close attention to my kids, they had consumed chocolate chip cookies, ice cream, licorice, and an untold number of candy corns.  The fact that I even would buy candy corn which is basically pure fake sugar is evidence enough I need to take some kind of seminar.

4. All of my children were crazy, irrational, bad today.  Maylin threw a fit about taking a nap, Morgan threw a fit when I took her out of the swing at the park, every time I tried to put her in her car seat, and when I changed her diaper, Lorelei hit Noelle for "looking at her" and Noelle said something very obstinate and disrespectful though I can't remember exactly what it was, but I do remember she sort of glared at me when she said it.

      5. After a day like that I gave my kids corn dogs for dinner.  I bet if I had taken a parenting class, I would have at least made a meat loaf!

* On a more serious note, thank you friends for praying for our church and the Souser family at our church who recently suffered the loss of their dad.  I am so grateful for the body of Christ!

In Difficult Times

I attend a relatively small church in Oxnard with about 200 regulars each Sunday.  Dan & I have been at Faith Community since the fall of '98, 10 years now.  Throughout the past decade in our small congregation, we've seen people get diagnosed with cancer, people struggle with family problems, and on occasion people die.  This past weekend, one of our members, Doyle Souser was killed in the Metrolink accident in Chatsworth Friday.  He left behind a wife and 3 teenage children.  Everyone was on edge as we awaited news Friday late into the night and all day Saturday, until they finally verified that he was one of the deceased.  Naturally, people were crying and in shock, it reminds us of how short life can be.

The issue I struggled with was addressed this evening. Often times when these types of things occur, I feel so inadequate to help.  These types of things make me feel young, inexperienced, and foolish.  Devin Smith (a Master's college & seminary grad) preaches sometimes on Sunday evenings and tonight he focused on this very issue, and it was such a blessing to me!  Maybe his 3 main ideas will be encouraging to you to when you face people who have just experienced a tragedy or trial in their own life.  He spoke on John 11 when Jesus went to see Mary & Martha after Lazarus had died.

1. Christ has power over death.  Of course we see that in the fact that he raises Lazarus from the dead, but beyond that we know that Christ conquered death through his own death on the cross, so we will live on with Him in eternity.

2. Jesus wept.  He felt compassion for those that were left grieving, he was stirred with great emotion.  We too can and should feel and cry and grieve with our loved ones.

3. When speaking with Martha about Lazarus, Jesus turned the conversation back to himself by saying, "I am the resurrection & the life...." as Devin put it, we can never go wrong by always turning the conversation back to Christ.  

These are 3 simple observations from the passage, but as we see how Jesus Himself dealt with the death of a loved one, we too can take heed.  If you think about, pray for the Souser family this week as they begin to deal with this great grief.

One To Go...

So this morning, I find myself in a quiet and clean house, and I am so overwhelmed by such a myriad of emotions that I could seriously cry. Lorelei is in kindergarten and today is the first day of preschool for the twins. They'll just be going on Tuesdays & Thursdays. I posted a pic of Morgan above experiencing the unknown joy of playing with toys by herself! I thought she'd miss the others, but she seems pretty darn happy to me. Anyway, the girls did great, they were eager to begin, and didn't even flinch about me leaving them in a new place.

Meanwhile, I'm going to try and enjoy this brief respite, because next week I too go back to school, teaching that is, and so I'll actually be working on the Tues. & Thurs. mornings the girls are all in school. I'm slightly terrified because I'm going to teach 5 different classes this year, and so I have butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it. When I said I feel a myriad of emotions going on, I'm not exaggerating;
1. I feel relief every time I somehow manage to get them dressed, fed, and out the door by 8:05 to take Lorelei to school.
2. I feel dread when I think about grading essays again.
3. I feel excited about the actual teaching kids part.
4. I feel happy for the girls when they bring home their artwork and letters.
5. I feel anxious for Lorelei who is so quiet that I don't think she has spoken to anyone in her class yet and today is her 7th day.
6. I feel grateful that they're gone for a little while.
7. I feel guilty that I feel grateful that they're gone!
8. I feel like I'm boring you and need to get to work!

In gist, all is well, the girls all healthy and happy, and hopefully by God's grace we'll continue to transition well throughout this month.

P.S.
Sarah Palin just had a kid in April and is running for Vice President of the United States. Do I honestly think I'm busy? Puleaase...