The Curmudgeon

A curmudgeon is a "bad-tempered, difficult, cantankerous person."  The term is usually reserved for cranky old people that yell at children who dare to pass by their front yards, wearing pants that are too baggy, and their baseball caps backwards.  However, I have a sneaking suspicion that the term could be re-defined as a 35 year old wife/mom-of-4/English teacher.

Top 5 Signs I'm turning into a curmudgeon.

5. Two of my kids have birthdays coming next month.  Most moms get excited about birthday cakes and parties, all I keep thinking is, "Didn't we just celebrate this thing last year?  Why can't I just buy you a gift card to Starbucks and call it a day?  What, you want other kids to come over?  Seriously, aren't your three siblings enough for you?  Cuz they're enough for me, and cakes are so over-rated, let's just stick some matches in a hostess cupcake and call it a day, wouldn't that be fun?

4. At volleyball practice today, I told my kids they could only have 2 Hershey's kisses each, and then I voraciously ate the rest of the ones that they had packed in our snack bag.  When they looked at me accusingly, I said, "It's okay for me to eat this much junk, my insides are rotten already, it's too late for me.... but you're still young."

3. I miss Simon Cowell on American Idol because nice judges saying nice things to talented people is soooo boring.  And I miss Regis complaining about his health issues on Regis and Kelly, there's no one grumpy to counteract Kelly's perkiness, and I'm starting to resent her for it.

2. In the mornings, Dan likes to say good morning to everyone, and I like to say, "What's good about it?" And then glare at him.

1. I found great delight and joy in making this list of things I feel cranky about.