In short, Lorelei has struggled in kindergarten all year, both socially (she's very shy) and especially, academically. Now, I've never had a 5 year old before, the oldest of our brood is my little guinea pig, and I was genuinely surprised school was difficult for her. I had never really considered the possibility before, but as the school year's progressed, she's becoming more lost as the work gets harder. So when her teacher called, I said, "lay it on the line for me, I can take it," (because she was trying to be sooo nice and reluctant to come out with it & I understood this because as a teacher I've made these calls before)! It turns out, she thinks Lor should repeat kindergarten. So I decided to pull her out now, so as to give her a little distance between now and the fall when she begins again. Tomorrow is her last day.
Well, I'm a practical person, not terribly mushy or sentimental about things, so in my mind I reasoned with myself, this is not a big deal, my child is healthy and happy and hopefully will grow up to love the Lord, that is the end goal. But even as I reasoned with myself, I admit I felt anxious and concerned. I was worried about how she would take it, & how does this affect the other 3, should I start the twins later? Had I made a mistake? Etc.
Now that I've had a few weeks to process our outcome, I have to say the Lord has taught me this:
1. I need to slow down. I'm always rushing through each of the stages of my kids' childhoods, hoping that somehow the next phase of life will be easier. Well, that's just ridiculous, it won't ever get actually easier, this is what the Lord has for me during this season of my life. I need to be grateful and content in it. It's ironic that just as I want to push through, the Lord is holding me back, literally!
2. God is good. We fretted over how to tell Lorelei the news. Finally we talked with her Sunday night. Her reaction - "okay." We were like, Okay? Are you sure? Does that sound good to you, homeschooling with mom for a few months, and then going back to kindergarten in September? Yep! Sounds good. She didn't even flinch or care. She's not remotely phased. I worried about her reaction for nothing!
3. Lastly, this is such a little, tiny thing in comparison to health issues, and even behavior issues, but all of us moms know how much we can tend to mull over anything that affects our children. We all need to remember, our kids are not perfect, they will constantly surprise us with their responses and reactions to things, and sometimes those surprises may not be entirely pleasant. The reminder then is not to tie up our joy or hope in these kids (that would be so unfair to them) and so misguided, our central focus must remain in & on Christ. If it is and they see that, we've done our jobs! Everything else is just extra.
7 comments:
Good job, mom and dad. I'm sure she'll be thanking you for that decision in years to come. She is such a sweet girl!
Amen and amen. Thank you for that encouragement. Gleaning for my future experiences. Thank you for your constant wisdom. You are so dear.
Wow, this was exactly what I needed to read. So often I catch myself getting caught up in - wanting Stella to do good in school, be liked by her teacher and friends, never doing or saying the wrong thing... Granted these are important things, but my motives would be so wrong. I was doing it for 'self' and not for the Lord. I want to raise my children to love the Lord first and foremost and from that I know the other things fall in to place. Thanks for the encouragement, I needed it.
So glad you shared. ALL so true and such good reminders.
Really true! I think you made a great decision. And I, too, have been petrified of breaking news to our kids and thinking they'd crumble...and they'd surprise me by being completely resilient. The Lord is so gracious to us!
On the practical side, I too rushed things with my first child (potty-training, reading, etc.) and since have learned that it's better for everybody to slow down and take our time. Just because they could do something doesn't mean it's wise for them to do it. So now I am the mom of five that all the new mommies are rolling their eyes at behind my back because I didn't potty-train Jonathan until he was three and a few months. But I will never regret that decision! Four days spent instead of several weeks?! Yeah, I'll take it.
My mom taught for over thirty years, she made the comment once that she never met a parent who had regrets keeping their child behind a year...which is usually understood later on. I am waiting with Matt. Besides I look at it as Matt will be a very old 18, year old when he leaves for college, that is one more year we have him! Thank you for sharing.
My daughter is in her first year of kindergarten and also struggling. The school have raised the possibility of her repeating the year and we are waiting to see if this will be the outcome for her. I expected my child's first year of kindergarten to be fun for both of us and it has been anything but. I know to some extent where you are at. I hope that you are all enjoying special home time now that you have reached a decision. Hopefully we will find a course of action that works for us too very soon. More than anything I dislike the pressure that has come with this year, they are only 5.
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